Thursday, December 1, 2011

Imposing views

For those who may not know, I of course have an Instagram. And we all know that being on social networks may bring people who have strong opinions and feel the need to express them. There has been this one individual who has commented on quite a number of my pictures with their beliefs. Now, I have no problem with someone being opinionated and I respect those with the guts to express them. Especially when they are different than the majority. BUT there is a way to express them. And when you are commenting on someone else's profile, the owner has the automatic right to cuss you out... am I wrong?

So, as a natural, I am very well aware that when some ladies decide to go natural, during their journey, they have an awakening. They become more aware of their African descent, and that's a wonderful thing. But just a year ago, you were perming your hair and listening to Lil Wayne. Now you are natural and listen to Lauryn Hill all day and night. And Amen to that because artists like Lauryn, Erykah, The Roots, Common, Maxwell, Jill Scott, etc. are my absolute favorite and I've been a fan of theirs since the beginning of time. BUT don't you start proclaiming that people need to start listening to the same type of music because the music that they listen to (that YOU were listening to just yesterday) is so horrible. You, my friend, are being a hypocrite.

So, now you have been fully natural for the past year. And have taken it upon yourself to tell those who are still perming their hair that they have a case of "self-hate" and they need to love themselves naturally. Well, just last year, you too my friend, had that creamy crack in your hair. Just because you were hating yourself while perming your hair does not mean that all permed ladies hate themselves. And actually, there are quite a few naturals who still hate themselves. There are some who have poor body images and result to bulimia, anorexia, and over exercising. There are some who abuse drugs and alcohol. There are some who are promiscuous and don't care about the health of others or even themselves. Going natural does not mean that all of a sudden, your head will be clear and you will see the silver lining in the sky and will automatically fall in love with yourself and all will be right with the world. So stop telling people that they hate themselves just because they are doing the very same thing YOU and I were doing not too long ago. You, my friend, are being a hypocrite.

Some of you may or may not know but I am a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. which is a Black Greek Letter Organization. We refer to the Divine 9 as Greek Life because the names of our organizations are Greek letters. NOT because we are Greek, not because we are incorporating the Greek lifestyle into our daily lives. We don't worship Greek Gods, we don't eat Greek salads, and we don't study Greek mythology. We are Black organizations geared toward the betterment of our people. Period. So saying that your African life is better than my Greek European life is uncalled for. Just because you may not understand or agree with me being in a sorority, that does not give you the right to degrade what is a part of me. You, my friend, are just being ignorant.

I am very happy that we are embracing our African heritage and are passionate about it. But when you become demeaning and disrespectful to your own just because they are not doing what you are doing, YOU are the one who needs to take a look in the mirror and reevaluate. Life is about uplifting and teaching. Not degrading and demeaning. Check yourself. Until next time...

- MaiyaH

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Black Men and Black Women

Last Friday, I was watching the Dr. Drew Life Changers show and the topic was Black men who don't date Black women and vice versa. Now, I will be completely honest with you. While watching this show, I broke down crying and I'll tell you why.

The 1st guest was a Black man, chocolate brown skin, who absolutely loves his Black Queens. But his best friend was a Black man who loathed us. He claimed that all Black women have babies out of wedlock by losers who don't provide for their offspring, we all have perms, no education, and we're ghetto. I am a 25-year-old childless woman, I am proudly natural, I am graduating with a degree in Biology, and I know how to speak correctly. A woman in the audience got up to comment and he got out of his seat and attacked her. She simply said that he needed to take a look in the mirror before he started to judge us. He had locks that needed to be retwisted and he angrily told her that he had "beautiful Black dreads and she has a process (perm) in her hair!" Sir, why are you referring to your locks as dreads? There is nothing dreadful about locks. But that's another convo for another day. He was so angry that Dr. Drew had to come and hold him back from leaping off the stage at a woman. He was filled with so much anger, it was painful to watch. And even more painful to know that he is not the only Black man who feels this way about us. I broke down crying thinking, "is THIS what I have to look forward to? Black men who only want to have sex with Black women but don't want to marry us? What the hell has gone wrong?"

Statistically, Black women are excelling more rapidly than Black men. More Black women attend college than do Black men, therefore acquiring more successful jobs than our counterparts. I can see how this may be intimidating to a man regardless of race. But men constantly complain about women being gold diggers. And now, they are complaining about women being successful and independent? What do you want? Black women have it hard. We have 2 strikes against us. We are Black and we are women. So we have to work twice as hard and do it without complaining. And while some Black men have views about us like those stated above, Black women still want their Black King. Including me. I'm not saying that I wouldn't date outside my race because I definitely would. But I see myself marrying a beautiful strong Black man. And as many stereotypes as that man had for us, women could have for Black men. But not every man is the same. And that's what that man chooses to refuse to acknowledge.

I hope this man figures out what is making him so angry and takes the appropriate steps to heal himself. How do you feel about this issue? Are you a Black man or Black woman who only dates outside of your race? Do you think this phenomenon is more prevalent among successful Black athletes?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Natural hair as a trend.

For those of you who are unaware, I am a proud member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. Last week, my linesister posted a comment on Twitter (follow me if you'd like @MAIchickBAD) saying, "I wonder what females will do when this natural hair flower in the bush trend is over!" I didn't even see the comment until she @'d me and a few of our other LSs who are natural saying that she's surprised that we didn't rip her a new one. Stats on my LSs and I- there are 15 of us, 9 of us are natural and I personally thing that is an absolutely beautiful thing. But back to the story. I then replied to her in a number of tweets but I will elaborate more in this post.

This whole "natural hair trend" term is... Quite interesting. How can something that naturally occurs be a trend? If this were the case, when people of European heritage tan their skin, that would be considered "normal" and those who would rather not risk getting skin cancer or are just comfortable and secure with their natural skin tone would be "trending"... Correct? People who wear colored contacts would be "normal" and those who show off the natural color of their eyes would be "trending"... Right? And there are many other examples that could be used to further prove my point but I'm sure you get it. In no way am I saying that perms are a "trend" because I was permed for most of my 25 years as many women of African heritage are. I have no problem with a head of permed hair. I still stop and compliment women with beautiful permed hair with no hesitation. BUT, I decided for myself that permed hair would no longer be MY hair. No, my hair was not damaged, think, broken off, etc. when I was permed. Looking at pictures of myself as a child with my beautiful, thick, healthy curls is what moved me to no longer conform to the norms of society and embrace what was naturally given to me. It has been 3 exciting and frustrating years of me being natural and I have absolutely no desire to perm my hair ever again. When I'm having a bad hair day, I'd rather chop all my hair off and rock a short cut than perm my hair. So again, I ask. How can something natural be a trend?

What I left out about the tweet from my beautiful LS is the fact that she even attempted to go natural. Now, for her and many other women who attempt to go natural but unfortunately do not succeed, if you want to say that this is a "natural hair trend", I'd agree with you... When it comes to YOU. You unfortunately were unable to follow through with your goal, thus falling victim to the "creamy crack" once again and that is fine! But for the women who were able to successfully accomplish their goal of obtaining a head full of healthy luscious curls, I know this is cliche but, this is a lifestyle. Having a perm is normal for you but being natural has become normal for us. I straightened my hair about 4 weeks ago. It was the 1st time that all of my hair had be straight since I was permed back in April 2008. And let me tell you all how much I did NOT like my hair in it's straight state!

Don't get me wrong, it was absolutely beautiful BUT, it was not me. Over these 3 years, I have grown to love my natural beauty. My straight hair had nothing on my huge fro!

So believe me when I say that this is NOT a trend. It's beauty in it's most natural state.

And finally, it is absolutely amazing how our own people are not accepting of natural hair! And of corse this all began we before you and I were even thought of. Light-skinned vs. Dark-skinned. Men vs. women. Tall vs. Short. Skinny vs. Voluptuous. Young vs. Old. If you haven't checked it out, please Google the Willy Lynch theory also called a "letter" but I've learned that there was no actual letter. This will help explain why there is so much discrimination amongst our own people. But, back to the topic. I receive SO many compliments from people who are not of African heritage about my hair asking me how I get it to look like this. And when I tell them that I don't do anything, it's just naturally like this, they look at me amazed and tell me that it's awesome, beautiful, pretty, cool, you name it, they've said it. But MY people on the other hand have completely different reactions. Stares, rolled eyes, looks of shock as if they can't believe that I'd walk out of the house like this, and other rude actions. My own grandmother, who I love dearly, asked me if there is anything I can do to my hair to make it look "less nappy." Now, I had to remember that she was my granny because I got SO mad. And then I also remembered that she, along with all other 80-something Black women, grew up in the time of segregation. And straightening their hair was their way of "fitting in." So, I composed myself and told her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my hair and I love it just the way it is. This is how God created me and I took it upon myself to embrace it. That was 2 years ago and she respected my opinion then and still respects it now. And even compliments me on my hair. But, it just hurts that my own people seem to sort of be disgusted with the fact that many women are now embracing what is natural. For me, it doesn't play a part at all in whether I want to remain natural or not. Those who know me know that I may ask someone for advice but ultimately, I do what I want and am proud of myself and my decisions. But it is still disheartening.

What conclusions have you drawn from this "natural hair trend" term? Has it affected your natural hair journey? Or has it not affected you at all?
P.s. This is not a shot at my LS. I love her with all my heart. I just wanted to use this situation as a platform for this post.

Until next time... Peace!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tutorial coming soon.

Puff tutorial coming soon.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

And the blogging begins.

Why, hello there! My name is Maiya and I am excited to start this blogging adventure. Many of you may not know who I am... and why would you? I'm nobody famous. Just a lady who absolutely adores her natural hair and anything about natural beauty. I have also started my own small business making jewelry. Some people say it is my calling because I have always been a creative person. Who knows what my calling is? I am a Biology major at Bowie State University graduating in December. Becoming a pediatrician is my goal. But if God directs me to another path along the way, I'm pretty sure I'll follow.

Now, you may ask, "How long have you been natural?" I have been happily natural since September 5, 2008. This is what my hair currently looks like. Goofy picture, I know. As you will learn about me, you will notice that I love to have fun. This picture is the result of a dry bantu knot out. Here is a link to my tutorial on how to achieve this look. I keep my hair pretty simple by sticking to twist/braid/bantu knot outs. I am more than happy to answer questions about my hair so please feel free to ask!

On to this new small business. I have always made or altered things to my liking. This jewelry venture originally started off as me making bracelets for myself. But when I posted pictures of my creations on my Tumblr and Instagram (my name is iloveMAIcurls on both if you'd like to follow me.), I got suggestions to sell my creations. So, that is what I did.

These items along with many others are available here-

So, there is more of me to come! I hope that you enjoyed reading this quick post and please stay tuned for future posts. Wherever you are in the world, please have a good day, afternoon, or a great night. Peace!