Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Black Men and Black Women

Last Friday, I was watching the Dr. Drew Life Changers show and the topic was Black men who don't date Black women and vice versa. Now, I will be completely honest with you. While watching this show, I broke down crying and I'll tell you why.

The 1st guest was a Black man, chocolate brown skin, who absolutely loves his Black Queens. But his best friend was a Black man who loathed us. He claimed that all Black women have babies out of wedlock by losers who don't provide for their offspring, we all have perms, no education, and we're ghetto. I am a 25-year-old childless woman, I am proudly natural, I am graduating with a degree in Biology, and I know how to speak correctly. A woman in the audience got up to comment and he got out of his seat and attacked her. She simply said that he needed to take a look in the mirror before he started to judge us. He had locks that needed to be retwisted and he angrily told her that he had "beautiful Black dreads and she has a process (perm) in her hair!" Sir, why are you referring to your locks as dreads? There is nothing dreadful about locks. But that's another convo for another day. He was so angry that Dr. Drew had to come and hold him back from leaping off the stage at a woman. He was filled with so much anger, it was painful to watch. And even more painful to know that he is not the only Black man who feels this way about us. I broke down crying thinking, "is THIS what I have to look forward to? Black men who only want to have sex with Black women but don't want to marry us? What the hell has gone wrong?"

Statistically, Black women are excelling more rapidly than Black men. More Black women attend college than do Black men, therefore acquiring more successful jobs than our counterparts. I can see how this may be intimidating to a man regardless of race. But men constantly complain about women being gold diggers. And now, they are complaining about women being successful and independent? What do you want? Black women have it hard. We have 2 strikes against us. We are Black and we are women. So we have to work twice as hard and do it without complaining. And while some Black men have views about us like those stated above, Black women still want their Black King. Including me. I'm not saying that I wouldn't date outside my race because I definitely would. But I see myself marrying a beautiful strong Black man. And as many stereotypes as that man had for us, women could have for Black men. But not every man is the same. And that's what that man chooses to refuse to acknowledge.

I hope this man figures out what is making him so angry and takes the appropriate steps to heal himself. How do you feel about this issue? Are you a Black man or Black woman who only dates outside of your race? Do you think this phenomenon is more prevalent among successful Black athletes?

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